Updated: May 19
Since we are officially past the 7 day mark of 2020, it's probably okay to stop saying Happy New Year as greeting whenever you speak to someone. However, this is my first post of the the year so Happy New Year!!!!
Coming into 2020, I felt like I was riding a wave. I don't know if it was the energy of spending New Year's Eve in Time Square but this the picture above said it all - 2020 is my year.
Then it seems like I came back to the real world and life hit me like a bag of bricks this past week. I'm not the type of person that hates my day job, so why after a 2 week break was I ready to pull my hair out after day to in the office. Trump instigation of conflict with middle east has really ruffled my feathers, and numbers have been a sore point for me.
I took a minute to realize that the problem isn't with the rest of the world, it's with me. Last year, I promised to allow myself to experience and feel all of my emotions and it very easy to not do that when hiding from yourself is what is comfortable for you.
I knew this week's Talk Tuesday topic was going to be about the 'war' in Baltimore and all the lives lost in 2019, I'm passionate about that topic because it is personal to me. 2019, made 10 years since my daughter's father was killed. I know first hand the void left by violence. I know how it destroy families and causes families so much pain.
Thinking about those numbers shifted my thought process for a moment from yasssss to fuuuuuukkkkk. I brought in 2010 sad, lonely and in a depressed situation. I wore a mask that said everything was okay when it wasn't.
2020 I am older and wiser. I haven't live through everything but but there's been enough to teach me a few life lessons the first being to your WHOLE truth. While I'm always me, I tend to hind the vulnerable parts inside from myself and rest of the world. In 2020, I have to get to know her better too. 20/20 vision may not be perfect but it is clear.