• Nicole Belvedere

What to Do?

Updated: Apr 8, 2019

I was all set to publish a different blog post today. But then something was brought to my attention by everyone's news source - social media.

On Instagram, I follow a "news page" that keeps us informed of different things going on in my hometown of Baltimore, Maryland. They mostly post about the many killings that we experience as one of the most dangerous cities in the United States, but they also periodically post about crimes in other parts of the county as well.

Last night, during my before bed scroll. I came across a post that put knots in my stomach. It showed about woman who is reported as being from Georgia being savagely attacked on Facebook live. I've tried search and see if any mainstream media outlets reported on this story but at us 11:30 am today, I could not find anything.

At the beginning of the videos, it appears a fight had already taken place. The young lady in the video had a large not below her right eyes along with other cuts and lacerations on her face. When he saw her recording the aftermath of the attack, her began another assault, that we could hear.

The caption under the photo said that this woman was hospitalized a month ago from a different beating. Domestic violence is a tricky situation. It's not always as cut and dry or black and white as people want it to be. The comments on the post spoke on his animalistic behavior, people commented what they would have done, they asked about why another man seen in the video did nothing to help her. I along with the rest the world cannot answer any of these question regarding her situation, but it made me think about the issue as a whole.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline defines domestic violence as "a pattern of behaviors used by one partner to maintain power and control over another partner in an intimate relationship." A lot of time people are blind to the fact that they are party to domestic violence because their experience is not physical.

The Hotline uses the Power & Control Wheel* to describe what occurs in an abusive relationship.

"Think of the wheel as a diagram of the tactics an abusive partner uses to keep their victim in the relationship. While the inside of the wheel is comprised of subtle, continual behaviors, the outer ring represents physical, visible violence. These are the abusive acts that are more overt and forceful, and often the intense acts that reinforce the regular use other more subtle methods of abuse. *Although this Power & Control Wheel uses she/her pronouns for the victim and assumes a male perpetrator, abuse can happen to people of any gender in any type of relationship."

I'm not a therapist or counselor. I don't know what advice to give someone going through that situation. What I do know is that I want to help. The best way to help is to educate ourselves and others.

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